Fast Forward…

I started this blog with the best of intentions. To post often. To write meaningful content about the things I loved, life, Italy, and whatever happened to fall in between. But then as it usually happens in life, situations arise that can pull you away from the things you love and, unfortunately, it takes so little to throw me off track. This is something I am really trying to work on. Really.

Basically a little over a year ago my life completely changed in the matter of a few months and, when all was said and done, and the dust settled, I found myself in Italy (!!!!!) of all places and back to being a student (!!!!!). I accomplished two of things that I had wanted and I was so content! More than I had been in a very long time.

Over the last year I was busy studying, meeting new people, and just trying to live in the moment. The year basically flew by and towards the end I began to realize that I hadn’t even worked towards any of those goals (one of them being to develop my blog) I had set for myself before I embarked on this new chapter. Where had the time gone? Why hadn’t I worked on any of my personal goals? Why am I so easily distracted? Why am I not better at this and that and the other thing? At first I began to feel overwhelmed. How was I going to try to recuperate all that I should have done over this last year into a month? Then self-loathing began to set in. Oh no. After a while I realized that although maybe I hadn’t done what I set out to do that didn’t mean that I couldn’t start again. I needed to stop focusing on the past, on all the things I hadn’t done or what I could have done differently, and redirect my energy to moving forward and doing things differently from this point on. It’s with these little situations that I find myself falling back into my old ways of thinking. Glimpses of the old me show through. I try not to give them too much space but it’s difficult, especially now with the fact that in a few months my masters will be over and I will need to decide what the next steps are. I’d like to think that I will be able to handle this time of uncertainty with the same faith and trust which I handled the upheaval of my world one year ago. But I am not so sure. More to come on this later, however.

As I said, a great deal has happened within this last year and I’m not sure I can sum up everything here. I’ll write about it as situations come up, as new things begin to unfold. After all, I have been somewhat of a vagabond for the past few years, if not for most of my life, either in one form or another, and as such my writing cannot reflect anything less.

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